Shockman

I love descriptive warning signs. They're so much more interesting than just a sign that says, "Hey, be careful." My favorites are the ones that show a hand with the fingers detached or mangled. I found this other gem last night:

It makes it seem like the electricity is an actual, evil being seeking out victims and killing them. Well, shocking, burning, or killing them, according to the warning label. It's like an introduction to a supervillain: "Meet Shockman! Created when a transformer explosion mutated him into an amorphous electrical blob. He roams around shocking, burning, and causing death. Will ever be able to stop him?"

Anyway, if you see him, try to steer clear.

Smiles

This is a picture from a poster hanging up all over our building. It's probably all over other state offices. I didn't pay much attention to the information it's actually trying to convey. I was too distracted by the people in the photo.

The first thing that just seems wrong is the guy's smile. What's he smiling about? What's going on inside his head? I know he's just posing for the picture and all, but it sure seems like a strange, creepy smile to me.

It gets even more strange, though: the woman's smile doesn't seem the same as the man's, like they're smiling for completely unrelated reasons.

And the little boy is laughing way too hard compared to the others. It's almost like somebody told a joke and only the little boy understood it, and the grown-ups are still trying to figure it out. It was probably a joke about chickens.

I don't know what it is about the picture that seems wrong; I can't quite put my finger on it. But the more I stare at it, the more it just seems odd. Does it seem odd to anyone else?

Baby Chickens For Sale

Must be baby chickens. Cheep cheep.

Less Carbs

If you can tell what's wrong with the title, this post isn't for you. Not that it's really for anyone. I'm just ranting about one of the most serious problems afflicting our nation.

Okay, so that's a bit of an over-statement. In a normal year, though, if the government wasn't shifting rapidly into a big-brother style communist dictatorship, it would definitely be one of the top problems we'd be dealing with.

The problem I'm talking about is people using the word "less" when they really mean to use "fewer". From the Grammar Girl website, "The basic rule is that you use less with mass nouns and fewer with count nouns."

What that means, in a nutshell, is that when you're talking about anything you can count (e.g. pens, pencils, dollar bills, calories, CARBS) you use fewer. When you're talking about anything you can't count (e.g. sugar, air, love) you use less. Pretty simple, right?

So, if it's so simple, why can't any advertisers get it right? Why are my ears assaulted every day with company after company advertising that their product contains "less carbs" or "less calories"?

I don't know. Maybe they have fewer intelligence than they used to.

Pointy

New addition to the restroom at work. I guess it's for the guys that can't make it through the day without shooting up. Which I guess is most of us...

And while I'm on the subject of work, there's a building going up right next to mine. Each state building has its own acronym. This one is "MASGOB". You've gotta love the geniuses that come up with these names.

Anatomically Correct Chilis

I'm a big fan of local restaurants supporting the community that they're in with artwork and stuff related to local sports teams, etc. I enjoy seeing that they're trying to be involved with the community and it gives the place a good feel.

That being said, this picture at the West Valley Chili's restaurant sort of creeped me out:
It's two pepper people playing hockey. The creepy part is that they're a little too human. Their legs are human legs, right down to the hair. Apparently they don't make hockey jerseys that cover pepper-shaped people. I sure wish they did.

I Am What I Ate

I remember a time, years ago, when I was afraid to buy Fat Boy Ice Cream Sandwiches. I always thought that as people saw me carrying them through the store, they'd think of the saying, "You are what you eat", and they'd think I was a fat boy. The ironic thing is that I was pretty thin back then.

I've also always been nervous to purchase low-fat or "light" items because people might think to themselves, "He must be fat because he's trying to lose weight." That's why I didn't switch to diet soda for a long time. But since the time that I decided that my health was more important than people's perceptions of me, I've changed a lot of my eating habits. No more second breakfast in the morning. No more midnight snacks (I try to squeeze them in by 11). I keep track of what I eat and only eat when I'm hungry.

I no longer order the largest thing on the menu. I stop eating when I get full, even if it means throwing the remainder of my meal away. I don't snack all day at work anymore. I drink water at restaurants. I've even eaten an occasional salad--and enjoyed it.

And for all my diet changes and increased workouts at the gym, here's the result:

Now, a 292.3 may not mean a lot by itself, but when you realize that that same scale was saying 319 just over a year ago, it puts it in perspective. Not that the 292.3 is a regular occurance--I'm typically in the 295 range lately--but that's the first time I've seen a number that low in over 4 years.

Before you say that I should be losing a lot more weight than that, let me just say that I'm not really trying to lose weight. I'm trying to be healthy. I'm doing it a little at a time as my mind and body are able to accept it. I'm not jumping right in to a diet and exercise program with the intent to lose 100 pounds in 6 months. I'm making small changes to the way I live my life to transform my bad habits into good habits.

So many people diet starting on a certain day and then just give up the whole thing the first time they mess up. I'm not dieting; I'm changing things one at a time to make myself better. If I mess up one day, it doesn't matter; I'll just pick up where I left off the next day.

I'm not anywhere near my goal weight (the government says I should weight 185 to be "healthy", but I would die of malnutrition if I ever weighed that little. My own personal idea of an ideal weight is right around 250) but I'm heading in the right direction. Even if my progress is slow, as long I keep heading this direction I should be just fine.