Goats
1 comments
There was a time when having whiskers on your chin was a good thing. In the last few months, though, I've noticed a disturbing trend: whenever there's a news story about a pedophile, a flasher, a guy who may or may not have killed his wife, or any other creepy deviant, almost without exception they have what's commonly referred to as a goatee ( though traditionally called a Van Dyke).
I've had a goatee myself on and off since I've been able to grow hair on my face, and it has been over 6 years since I've seen my chin. It's too bad that some people have been bringing a bad name to those who choose to have beards.Without any hair on my face I look like a 15-year-old, which really isn't a good look for me. Annie would probably leave me if I didn't have at least some hair on my face. But I don't think I can continue sporting a goatee with all the bad press guys with goatees have been getting lately.
So I'm considering a change. Please refer to the following chart:
Which type of facial hair would you like to see me wear? Please take a moment to vote on the sidebar to the right. The results of the poll will not be binding, but I'll certainly consider them.
All Intensive Purposes
6 commentsI don't know if I'm just getting old and grumpy or what but certain mispronounced/mispelled words and phrases have been driving me increasingly more crazy every year. Maybe it's because people write increasingly more than they speak, and they're less and less able to pass themselves off as being literate when they can't just speak quickly and pretend they had a small stroke midway through their sentence.
Whatever it is, I just wanted to try to help the three readers of my blog (not that I think you have a problem if you're one of the three readers, but you may be able to use this to help other people that you know that are struggling with this.)
I took a lot of information (okay, so maybe all of it) from this great article at http://www.yourdictionary.com/. I appreciate their attempt to help people not look like idiots. And, I do have to admit, I learned one or two things from the list.
Arctic and Antarctic - You'll notice that there are 2 Cs in each of these words. Both Cs actually get pronounced. Although, I have to admit that it's easier to say, "Let's get a shake at the Artic Circle." Unfortunately, it's difficult to get a shake at the Arctic Circle in less than 20 minutes, especially with their perpetual "Slow Service" (Help Wanted) signs up.
Bidness - I know it seems cute to say "bidness" and kind of fun to write "bizness" but, really, can't you pretend you don't have a giant wad of gum in your mouth when you say business?
Blessing in the Skies - Even though blessings often come the the skies, it really doesn't have much to do with a blessing that, at first glance, appeared to be a trial. Blessing in diguise really is the better phrase for what you think you're trying to say.
Chester Drawers - With so many things in our world named after people, it just seems logical that a guy named Chester became famous for his furniture. Sadly, though, despite all the people through the years named Chester that have made, sold, or owned a Chest of Drawers, his name never actually stuck. I spent my first 10 years of life wondering who Chester was. (On a side note, I'd like to see Chester Cheetah hide in a chest of drawers in a Cheetos commercial one day.)
Dialate - No, sorry, it dilate. Just one 'A'. I don't like when the eye doctor dilates my eyes, but I think I'd like it even less if he ever tried to dialate them.
Doggy Dog World - There are lots of dogs in the world. Living in a "Doggy dog world" almost sounds like a happy place, with lots of doggies running around in a field, chasing after frisbees and jumping and frolicking playfully. I'm sorry to ruin this illusion, but the term is "Dog eat dog world". You know, where dogs eat each other. Not quite so fun, but much more descriptive of the point people are trying to make.
Drownd and Drownded - It's sad when sacks full of cats are drownded, but it's even more sad when somebody uses the word drownded. This is one where, when people are forced to type it, they completely change to sentence to avoid having to type it because they have no clue what the real word is supposed to be, and they know that "drownded" can't possibly be right.
Excape and Expecially - It's so much more work for your mouth to say "excape" instead of "escape". Why do people do it?
For All Intensive Puposes - Despite how intensive the purposes may be, they have nothing to do with what you're trying to say. It should be "for all intents and purposes", or apparently, "to all intents and purposes" if you're English. This is the phrase that got me thinking about all this today. Somebody had posted it in the comment section of a blog and I just had to laugh. Laugh and laugh.
Heighth - Even though width ends in "th" and width and height often go together, there's no such thing as "heighth".
Hot Water Heater - I guess this is sort of like frying refried beans. How many times does the water need to be heated?
Irregardless - Adding the "ir" to regardless sort of nullifies the original intent, doesn't it? This is similar to "unthawing" something. As far as I know, the best way to "unthaw" something is to put it back in the freezer.
Liberry - I'd like to see a liberry. Maybe I could read about it in a book that I checked out of the Library, the kind with two Rs that aren't next to each other.
Lightning - Even though it may be "lightening" up the sky, it's still spelled "Lightning". There's no E between the light and the ning. Really. Trust me.
Mannaise - For people who pronounce it this way, have you ever wondered why it's shortened to "Mayo"? Is there a pH-balanced version of it called "Womannaise"? Which bring up the one mispelling that drives me more nuts than most. In fact it drives me so nuts I'm not even going to keep it in alphabetical order. It moves up the list to right here:
Women - "That's the right spelling," you say. And you're right, if you're talking about MORE THAN ONE woman. It's not hard to see the connection between "man:woman" and "men:women" is it? Apparently it is for some people.
Moot - Yes, it's funny to say "Moo point" instead of "moot point", because who really cares what a cow has to say. But it's definitely not a "mute" point. It can still be heard.
Nucular - Here's a hint: Homer Simpson mispronounces it in an attempt at humor, not to set an example for generations of people. It's nuclear. Nuclear.
Ordinance - Yeah, that's a real word, too. But it's more of a law or rule. Ordnance (without the I) refers to bombs, bullets, and other military equipment. The military may have many ordinances, but you're probably referring to their ordnance.
Probly - If you insist on spelling it this way at least have the courtesy to put in an apostrophe so people can pretend it's correct.
Prostrate - As near as I can tell, nobody has ever died of Prostrate Cancer. They were probably prostrate at some point during their treatment for Prostate Cancer, but the prostration wasn't really the issue.
Realator - I admit, it seems like there should be another syllable in Realtor, but there's not, so get over it.
Sherbert - No, that's what Ernie says when he's in agreement with his bunkmate, not the fruit flavored frozen treat you're eating.
Spade - It's too bad Bob Barker died without ever knowing how many people misunderstood his pleas for them to "spade" their pets. The correct term, if you're still reading, is "spayed", meaning the past tense of the verb "to spay". Wait, Bob Barker's not dead?
Spitting Image - Yeah, this one surprised me, too. It's actually "Spit and Image". The image doesn't actually do any spitting, though that would be cool to see.
Supposably - Supposedly, this is one of the words that Shakespeare invented. It's not, though. It's not any kind of a word at all. It's just a bunch of letter put together in a somewhat logical fashion.
Take for Granite - I spent most of my young life wondering what this could possibly mean. I finally determined that it meant that something was solid and unmovable. Like, if it were to take it for granite that the army would keep me safe, that meant that I firmly believed that they would. I'm surprised I survived to my tenth birthday.
Tiajuana - I also spent months trying to find Tiajuana on a map of Mexico. I thought it was odd that there was a place with a similar name, Tijuana, which was also right on the border.
There are probably many more that I could add to the list but I don't feel like it. If there are any mispronunciations that drive you nuts add them in the comments.
Whatever it is, I just wanted to try to help the three readers of my blog (not that I think you have a problem if you're one of the three readers, but you may be able to use this to help other people that you know that are struggling with this.)
I took a lot of information (okay, so maybe all of it) from this great article at http://www.yourdictionary.com/. I appreciate their attempt to help people not look like idiots. And, I do have to admit, I learned one or two things from the list.
Arctic and Antarctic - You'll notice that there are 2 Cs in each of these words. Both Cs actually get pronounced. Although, I have to admit that it's easier to say, "Let's get a shake at the Artic Circle." Unfortunately, it's difficult to get a shake at the Arctic Circle in less than 20 minutes, especially with their perpetual "Slow Service" (Help Wanted) signs up.
Bidness - I know it seems cute to say "bidness" and kind of fun to write "bizness" but, really, can't you pretend you don't have a giant wad of gum in your mouth when you say business?
Blessing in the Skies - Even though blessings often come the the skies, it really doesn't have much to do with a blessing that, at first glance, appeared to be a trial. Blessing in diguise really is the better phrase for what you think you're trying to say.
Chester Drawers - With so many things in our world named after people, it just seems logical that a guy named Chester became famous for his furniture. Sadly, though, despite all the people through the years named Chester that have made, sold, or owned a Chest of Drawers, his name never actually stuck. I spent my first 10 years of life wondering who Chester was. (On a side note, I'd like to see Chester Cheetah hide in a chest of drawers in a Cheetos commercial one day.)
Dialate - No, sorry, it dilate. Just one 'A'. I don't like when the eye doctor dilates my eyes, but I think I'd like it even less if he ever tried to dialate them.
Doggy Dog World - There are lots of dogs in the world. Living in a "Doggy dog world" almost sounds like a happy place, with lots of doggies running around in a field, chasing after frisbees and jumping and frolicking playfully. I'm sorry to ruin this illusion, but the term is "Dog eat dog world". You know, where dogs eat each other. Not quite so fun, but much more descriptive of the point people are trying to make.
Drownd and Drownded - It's sad when sacks full of cats are drownded, but it's even more sad when somebody uses the word drownded. This is one where, when people are forced to type it, they completely change to sentence to avoid having to type it because they have no clue what the real word is supposed to be, and they know that "drownded" can't possibly be right.
Excape and Expecially - It's so much more work for your mouth to say "excape" instead of "escape". Why do people do it?
For All Intensive Puposes - Despite how intensive the purposes may be, they have nothing to do with what you're trying to say. It should be "for all intents and purposes", or apparently, "to all intents and purposes" if you're English. This is the phrase that got me thinking about all this today. Somebody had posted it in the comment section of a blog and I just had to laugh. Laugh and laugh.
Heighth - Even though width ends in "th" and width and height often go together, there's no such thing as "heighth".
Hot Water Heater - I guess this is sort of like frying refried beans. How many times does the water need to be heated?
Irregardless - Adding the "ir" to regardless sort of nullifies the original intent, doesn't it? This is similar to "unthawing" something. As far as I know, the best way to "unthaw" something is to put it back in the freezer.
Liberry - I'd like to see a liberry. Maybe I could read about it in a book that I checked out of the Library, the kind with two Rs that aren't next to each other.
Lightning - Even though it may be "lightening" up the sky, it's still spelled "Lightning". There's no E between the light and the ning. Really. Trust me.
Mannaise - For people who pronounce it this way, have you ever wondered why it's shortened to "Mayo"? Is there a pH-balanced version of it called "Womannaise"? Which bring up the one mispelling that drives me more nuts than most. In fact it drives me so nuts I'm not even going to keep it in alphabetical order. It moves up the list to right here:
Women - "That's the right spelling," you say. And you're right, if you're talking about MORE THAN ONE woman. It's not hard to see the connection between "man:woman" and "men:women" is it? Apparently it is for some people.
Moot - Yes, it's funny to say "Moo point" instead of "moot point", because who really cares what a cow has to say. But it's definitely not a "mute" point. It can still be heard.
Nucular - Here's a hint: Homer Simpson mispronounces it in an attempt at humor, not to set an example for generations of people. It's nuclear. Nuclear.
Ordinance - Yeah, that's a real word, too. But it's more of a law or rule. Ordnance (without the I) refers to bombs, bullets, and other military equipment. The military may have many ordinances, but you're probably referring to their ordnance.
Probly - If you insist on spelling it this way at least have the courtesy to put in an apostrophe so people can pretend it's correct.
Prostrate - As near as I can tell, nobody has ever died of Prostrate Cancer. They were probably prostrate at some point during their treatment for Prostate Cancer, but the prostration wasn't really the issue.
Realator - I admit, it seems like there should be another syllable in Realtor, but there's not, so get over it.
Sherbert - No, that's what Ernie says when he's in agreement with his bunkmate, not the fruit flavored frozen treat you're eating.
Spade - It's too bad Bob Barker died without ever knowing how many people misunderstood his pleas for them to "spade" their pets. The correct term, if you're still reading, is "spayed", meaning the past tense of the verb "to spay". Wait, Bob Barker's not dead?
Spitting Image - Yeah, this one surprised me, too. It's actually "Spit and Image". The image doesn't actually do any spitting, though that would be cool to see.
Supposably - Supposedly, this is one of the words that Shakespeare invented. It's not, though. It's not any kind of a word at all. It's just a bunch of letter put together in a somewhat logical fashion.
Take for Granite - I spent most of my young life wondering what this could possibly mean. I finally determined that it meant that something was solid and unmovable. Like, if it were to take it for granite that the army would keep me safe, that meant that I firmly believed that they would. I'm surprised I survived to my tenth birthday.
Tiajuana - I also spent months trying to find Tiajuana on a map of Mexico. I thought it was odd that there was a place with a similar name, Tijuana, which was also right on the border.
There are probably many more that I could add to the list but I don't feel like it. If there are any mispronunciations that drive you nuts add them in the comments.
Quote Games
3 commentsWell, I've done it again. I finished (is anything ever really finished?) writing another game. This one's even pretty fun. It's great for when you don't want to have to think, but you'd like to think you're learning something or doing something productive.
It's actually composed of five separate games, all centered around famous quotations. There are nearly 9,000 quotations that will come up randomly. And at this point I have to say that I haven't personally read all the quotations. Some may be offensive to some people (although I hope not) and some may have spelling errors that would make it difficult to solve the puzzle. Just consider that part of the experience, I guess.
The first game is the one that will pop up when you first start. It's called PLUMMETGRAM. If you do those variety puzzle books you've probably seen it as Wordfall or some other similar name.
The quotation is stripped of punctuation and laid out in a grid. The letters are removed and suspended above the grid. Your job is to drop the letters into the correct spot to complete the quotation. Clicking on a letter will drop it into the next available space, or you can drag the letter into place, or you can type the letter (it will drop into the highlighted space), or hold control and press the down arrow. You can move around the puzzle by clicking on a space, using the arrow keys, or rolling the mouse wheel. You can play the whole game with as little effort as moving a single finger on the mouse.
There are 5 skill levels for each game. For this one, the skill level changes the number of rows, thus increasing the difficulty. The Novice level has 3 rows, the Wizard has 7 (you can probably figure out the rest from there). There are also 2 helps at the top of the screen: Show Hint drops a random piece into place, and Cheat highlights the pieces in red or green to show what you have correct and what you screwed up.
In case it's not obvious, you can click on the part of the screen on the right that says "More Games" to see the other options. Or, if you don't feel like clicking, just hover over there for a second; it'll pop up.
The second game is just a regular CRYPTOGRAM, where each letter is represented by another letter. All the punctuation will still be included in the quotation, and you get the extra benefit of seeing the author's name (well, you have to solve that, too, but it can help).
There will always be one space selected in bright green, and all the other occurences of that letter will be highlighted in a darker green. You can move around by clicking on a space, clicking on the top part of the key at the bottom, or spinning the mouse wheel (which can be really fun). Enter a letter by typing it on the keyboard or clicking the lower portion of the key at the bottom.
The third game also appears in some puzzle books. I call it PSEUDOGRAM. In this game, all the letters are represented by a number, and the difficulty level determines how many letters are represented by the same number. The Novice level uses 13 numbers to represent all the letters (that's 2 letters per number, if you're keeping track). The Wizard level uses 5 numbers to represent all the letters (that's 5 letters per number, and 6 letters for the number 1).
To fill in letters, just type them from the list of available letters below each space. In this example, the first letter is selected, and you can either type J or W. If you prefer, you can just click the letters instead. If you get stumped on a word and want to return to it later, just click on a space in a different word and it will let you work on that one.
The next (or fourth, if you're keeping track) puzzle is the JIGSAWGRAM. It's really pretty simple. It takes a quote, writes it on a piece of paper, cuts it into pieces, and scrambles those pieces. All you have to do is put the scattered pieces on the right into the right order in the boxes on the left.
Where can you get this game, you ask? For being a reader of my blog, you can get your own copy by logging into my special ymail account set up just for that purpose. Go to http://www.yahoo.com/, click on Mail, then enter the following information to log in:
Username: softwaredan@ymail.com
Password: soft123
If fact, you could even just cut and paste from here. Then, just find the e-mail titled: "Quote Games", open it up, download the file, put it somewhere you won't forget it (the desktop works well), and play.
All I ask is that you let me know what you think of it, and tell me if you find anything not working right, or that could be done better. Or, if you don't want to tell me what you think, that's okay too. I'd rather you play it and not tell me than not play it so you don't feel obligated to send me a message. Either way.
It's actually composed of five separate games, all centered around famous quotations. There are nearly 9,000 quotations that will come up randomly. And at this point I have to say that I haven't personally read all the quotations. Some may be offensive to some people (although I hope not) and some may have spelling errors that would make it difficult to solve the puzzle. Just consider that part of the experience, I guess.
The first game is the one that will pop up when you first start. It's called PLUMMETGRAM. If you do those variety puzzle books you've probably seen it as Wordfall or some other similar name.
The quotation is stripped of punctuation and laid out in a grid. The letters are removed and suspended above the grid. Your job is to drop the letters into the correct spot to complete the quotation. Clicking on a letter will drop it into the next available space, or you can drag the letter into place, or you can type the letter (it will drop into the highlighted space), or hold control and press the down arrow. You can move around the puzzle by clicking on a space, using the arrow keys, or rolling the mouse wheel. You can play the whole game with as little effort as moving a single finger on the mouse.
There are 5 skill levels for each game. For this one, the skill level changes the number of rows, thus increasing the difficulty. The Novice level has 3 rows, the Wizard has 7 (you can probably figure out the rest from there). There are also 2 helps at the top of the screen: Show Hint drops a random piece into place, and Cheat highlights the pieces in red or green to show what you have correct and what you screwed up.
In case it's not obvious, you can click on the part of the screen on the right that says "More Games" to see the other options. Or, if you don't feel like clicking, just hover over there for a second; it'll pop up.
The second game is just a regular CRYPTOGRAM, where each letter is represented by another letter. All the punctuation will still be included in the quotation, and you get the extra benefit of seeing the author's name (well, you have to solve that, too, but it can help).
There will always be one space selected in bright green, and all the other occurences of that letter will be highlighted in a darker green. You can move around by clicking on a space, clicking on the top part of the key at the bottom, or spinning the mouse wheel (which can be really fun). Enter a letter by typing it on the keyboard or clicking the lower portion of the key at the bottom.
The third game also appears in some puzzle books. I call it PSEUDOGRAM. In this game, all the letters are represented by a number, and the difficulty level determines how many letters are represented by the same number. The Novice level uses 13 numbers to represent all the letters (that's 2 letters per number, if you're keeping track). The Wizard level uses 5 numbers to represent all the letters (that's 5 letters per number, and 6 letters for the number 1).
To fill in letters, just type them from the list of available letters below each space. In this example, the first letter is selected, and you can either type J or W. If you prefer, you can just click the letters instead. If you get stumped on a word and want to return to it later, just click on a space in a different word and it will let you work on that one.
The next (or fourth, if you're keeping track) puzzle is the JIGSAWGRAM. It's really pretty simple. It takes a quote, writes it on a piece of paper, cuts it into pieces, and scrambles those pieces. All you have to do is put the scattered pieces on the right into the right order in the boxes on the left.The difficulty level defines how many pieces there are. On the Novice level, it draws a 3x3 grid. On the wizard leve, it grows to 8x8. I'll let you figure out the ones in between.
The last (or fifth) game is what I call a CLUSTERGRAM. I've seen these in some puzzle books, but only really hard puzzle books. In the puzzle books, they only have clusters of 3 letters. That's really too difficult to be fun, if you ask me. So in my version, the Novice level has clusters of 7 letters, and the Wizard has clusters of 3.
In this game, the quotation has been cut up into equal-sized pieces. The only catch is that the letters in the pieces don't include spaces or punctuation. You have to use the spaces and punctuation in the blank spaces to determine where each piece should go. To make it easier (or does it make it harder?), the name of the author is part of each puzzle. Just drag and drop the pieces into place.
Where can you get this game, you ask? For being a reader of my blog, you can get your own copy by logging into my special ymail account set up just for that purpose. Go to http://www.yahoo.com/, click on Mail, then enter the following information to log in:Username: softwaredan@ymail.com
Password: soft123
If fact, you could even just cut and paste from here. Then, just find the e-mail titled: "Quote Games", open it up, download the file, put it somewhere you won't forget it (the desktop works well), and play.
All I ask is that you let me know what you think of it, and tell me if you find anything not working right, or that could be done better. Or, if you don't want to tell me what you think, that's okay too. I'd rather you play it and not tell me than not play it so you don't feel obligated to send me a message. Either way.
Progress
5 comments
So I've achieved my life-long dream of writing a screen saver that shows the time and date represented by the location of the planets in the solar system. Okay, so maybe it hasn't been a life-long dream, but I've spent a considerable number of hours contemplating it.Among the features of the screen saver is the ability to rotate the solar system to any angle. It also shows the current phase of the moon (it's hard to tell, since it's currently a full moon. Believe me, though, it changes). The planets also get smaller as they get farther away,. There's also a mode where you can have the planets move in their normal orbits, unrelated to the time. Oh, and if you're lucky, from time to time you'll see shooting stars (and all the other stars twinkle a little bit).
I guess you'd just have to see it action to fully appreciate how useful it is.
I've also finished (short of a little more testing) my calculator program. I can't stand the stupid little calculator that comes with Windows, and it's just too much effort to reach into my desk drawer to pull out my real calculator. Plus, this one has so many more features than either of those.The 2nd and 3rd rows of buttons actually move in 4 directions to show 4 more sets of buttons: one for financial functions, another for statistical operations, one for trigonometric functions, and another to do common conversions. (There's also a second function for each of the buttons that can be brought up by pushing shift, or just right-clicking the button.)
It also runs in the background on your computer and can be pulled up with a hotkey any time.
Oh, and the best part about the calculator: it uses reverse polish notation so it's easy to use. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it.
Anyway, I'm getting better with the whole programming thing. I just need to figure out how to put all those skills to a profitable use.
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