What is a Butter Delivery System, you ask? It's a type of edible product that exists primarily to provide a socially-acceptable method of eating butter.
Toast (B:F = 1:12)
The most common BDS to most Americans is toast. Toast doesn't have a very high B:F Ratio though (B:F = Butter to Food), and is therefore one of the least efficient BDSs. The problem is that the toast is only able to hold a limited amount of butter without becoming soggy, and soggy toast, no matter how much butter is involved, is just not worth eating. . Chilled butter lasts longer on the toast before soggying the bread, but too much chilled butter prevents the butter from melting fully (the toast only has so much residual heat from the toaster) and pockets of unmelted butter on toast just detracts from the enjoyment of ingesting the butter.
Dinner Rolls (B:F = 1:10):
Perhaps the next most common BDS is the common dinner roll. Dinner rolls generally begin their existence with a coating of butter on top already, giving them a leg up on toast. (Yes, butter-top bread also has butter on top, but there's much less surface area on the top of a slice of bread than on a roll). Dinner rolls can also be split down the middle to double the surface area that contains the butter, thus increasing their B:F ratio. One other advantage to the roll is its ability to be reclosed after being buttered so that the butter doesn't leak out (if you're serious about getting your daily RBI (recommended butter intake) you can pinch the edges to make what's known in butter circles as the "dinner roll butter balloon".
Corn (B:F = 1:8-1:4):
Corn in any form seems to be a popular BDS. Cornbread is just begging for a heap of butter, and cornbread eaters are very sympathetic to their plight. Cornbread can have a B:F anywhere between 1:8 and 1:4 for maximum BDS enjoyment, depending on how old the bread is and how thick the bread is.
Popcorn is a popular BDS among movie-goers and those who like to torture their co-workers. Popcorn may have the widest range of acceptable B:F ratios. It can range anywhere between 1:10 (if my wife makes it) to 1:4 if I make it. In fact, if made properly, popcorn can increase in B:F as you near the bottom of the bowl, even approaching a 1:1 ratio. It's just too bad that all the bad popcorn kernels hang out on the bottom and soak up butter that could be better utilized in more palatable BDSs.
Corn on the Cob is a great BDS with a B:F ratio of 1:4-1:2, if only the amount of edible corn is included in the calculation (with deductions for how much remains in your teeth and is later removed with floss). Corn on the cob would achieve an even higher B:F if gravity were not involved. As the corn heats the butter the butter drips off the bottom of the corn, which results in having to constantly rotate the corn to keep the B:F at desired levels. In Earth's orbit it's possible that corn on the cob is the most efficient of BDSs.
Baked Potato (B:F = 1:1)Here on Earth it can hardly be contested that the baked potato is the most efficient BDS, with a B:F ratio of 1:1. For a regular-sized potato you'll need a full square of butter to make it taste good enough to actually eat it.
The baked potato has some very unique characteristics making it such an effective BDS. First, baked potatoes are extremely dry and even anti-butterites would be tempted to add butter to their potato. Second, the baked potato skin makes a butter-tight pouch that holds in any excess butter until it can be absorbed by the potato. Third, the guts of a potato can be removed from the skin and added back in slowly to aid in total butter saturation.
The added benefit to the baked potato as a BDS is that you can also get your daily allowance of cheese and bacon.
4 comments:
Banana nut bread is really good with butter too. doesn't even need to be melted, just a good thick layer. Plus it's got butter in it, so that's good too. oooo, and artichokes... by volume it's probably a 2:1 b:f because you don't get a lot of meat out of a flake of artichoke... but you have to like artichoke for that. crooshic
i'm just glad you are able to think about other things. even if it is bds or whatever its called!
Whenever Zach eats one of Annie's dinner rolls for Sunday dinner, he never once thinks about the BDS factor. Its a matter of fact for him, roll + Zach = happy. Right now he's still learning about the concept of infinity, he's so perplexed about that concept that he can't factor the whole Butter to Food ratio. It's awesome to hear him at the dinner table asking before he takes a bite of dinner roll or bread stick if the rolls or bread sticks have butter on them. Kids are dumb.
Dan. So true. I've often said that popcorn is just a way to get butter to your mouth. Safe with steamed rice, which I'm going to go out on a limb and say is like unto the artichoke at a 2:1 b:f ratio.
Post a Comment