All Intensive Purposes

I don't know if I'm just getting old and grumpy or what but certain mispronounced/mispelled words and phrases have been driving me increasingly more crazy every year. Maybe it's because people write increasingly more than they speak, and they're less and less able to pass themselves off as being literate when they can't just speak quickly and pretend they had a small stroke midway through their sentence.

Whatever it is, I just wanted to try to help the three readers of my blog (not that I think you have a problem if you're one of the three readers, but you may be able to use this to help other people that you know that are struggling with this.)

I took a lot of information (okay, so maybe all of it) from this great article at http://www.yourdictionary.com/. I appreciate their attempt to help people not look like idiots. And, I do have to admit, I learned one or two things from the list.

Arctic and Antarctic - You'll notice that there are 2 Cs in each of these words. Both Cs actually get pronounced. Although, I have to admit that it's easier to say, "Let's get a shake at the Artic Circle." Unfortunately, it's difficult to get a shake at the Arctic Circle in less than 20 minutes, especially with their perpetual "Slow Service" (Help Wanted) signs up.

Bidness - I know it seems cute to say "bidness" and kind of fun to write "bizness" but, really, can't you pretend you don't have a giant wad of gum in your mouth when you say business?

Blessing in the Skies - Even though blessings often come the the skies, it really doesn't have much to do with a blessing that, at first glance, appeared to be a trial. Blessing in diguise really is the better phrase for what you think you're trying to say.

Chester Drawers - With so many things in our world named after people, it just seems logical that a guy named Chester became famous for his furniture. Sadly, though, despite all the people through the years named Chester that have made, sold, or owned a Chest of Drawers, his name never actually stuck. I spent my first 10 years of life wondering who Chester was. (On a side note, I'd like to see Chester Cheetah hide in a chest of drawers in a Cheetos commercial one day.)

Dialate - No, sorry, it dilate. Just one 'A'. I don't like when the eye doctor dilates my eyes, but I think I'd like it even less if he ever tried to dialate them.

Doggy Dog World - There are lots of dogs in the world. Living in a "Doggy dog world" almost sounds like a happy place, with lots of doggies running around in a field, chasing after frisbees and jumping and frolicking playfully. I'm sorry to ruin this illusion, but the term is "Dog eat dog world". You know, where dogs eat each other. Not quite so fun, but much more descriptive of the point people are trying to make.

Drownd and Drownded - It's sad when sacks full of cats are drownded, but it's even more sad when somebody uses the word drownded. This is one where, when people are forced to type it, they completely change to sentence to avoid having to type it because they have no clue what the real word is supposed to be, and they know that "drownded" can't possibly be right.

Excape and Expecially - It's so much more work for your mouth to say "excape" instead of "escape". Why do people do it?

For All Intensive Puposes - Despite how intensive the purposes may be, they have nothing to do with what you're trying to say. It should be "for all intents and purposes", or apparently, "to all intents and purposes" if you're English. This is the phrase that got me thinking about all this today. Somebody had posted it in the comment section of a blog and I just had to laugh. Laugh and laugh.

Heighth - Even though width ends in "th" and width and height often go together, there's no such thing as "heighth".

Hot Water Heater - I guess this is sort of like frying refried beans. How many times does the water need to be heated?

Irregardless - Adding the "ir" to regardless sort of nullifies the original intent, doesn't it? This is similar to "unthawing" something. As far as I know, the best way to "unthaw" something is to put it back in the freezer.

Liberry - I'd like to see a liberry. Maybe I could read about it in a book that I checked out of the Library, the kind with two Rs that aren't next to each other.

Lightning - Even though it may be "lightening" up the sky, it's still spelled "Lightning". There's no E between the light and the ning. Really. Trust me.

Mannaise - For people who pronounce it this way, have you ever wondered why it's shortened to "Mayo"? Is there a pH-balanced version of it called "Womannaise"? Which bring up the one mispelling that drives me more nuts than most. In fact it drives me so nuts I'm not even going to keep it in alphabetical order. It moves up the list to right here:

Women - "That's the right spelling," you say. And you're right, if you're talking about MORE THAN ONE woman. It's not hard to see the connection between "man:woman" and "men:women" is it? Apparently it is for some people.

Moot - Yes, it's funny to say "Moo point" instead of "moot point", because who really cares what a cow has to say. But it's definitely not a "mute" point. It can still be heard.

Nucular - Here's a hint: Homer Simpson mispronounces it in an attempt at humor, not to set an example for generations of people. It's nuclear. Nuclear.

Ordinance - Yeah, that's a real word, too. But it's more of a law or rule. Ordnance (without the I) refers to bombs, bullets, and other military equipment. The military may have many ordinances, but you're probably referring to their ordnance.

Probly - If you insist on spelling it this way at least have the courtesy to put in an apostrophe so people can pretend it's correct.

Prostrate - As near as I can tell, nobody has ever died of Prostrate Cancer. They were probably prostrate at some point during their treatment for Prostate Cancer, but the prostration wasn't really the issue.

Realator - I admit, it seems like there should be another syllable in Realtor, but there's not, so get over it.

Sherbert - No, that's what Ernie says when he's in agreement with his bunkmate, not the fruit flavored frozen treat you're eating.

Spade - It's too bad Bob Barker died without ever knowing how many people misunderstood his pleas for them to "spade" their pets. The correct term, if you're still reading, is "spayed", meaning the past tense of the verb "to spay". Wait, Bob Barker's not dead?

Spitting Image - Yeah, this one surprised me, too. It's actually "Spit and Image". The image doesn't actually do any spitting, though that would be cool to see.

Supposably - Supposedly, this is one of the words that Shakespeare invented. It's not, though. It's not any kind of a word at all. It's just a bunch of letter put together in a somewhat logical fashion.

Take for Granite - I spent most of my young life wondering what this could possibly mean. I finally determined that it meant that something was solid and unmovable. Like, if it were to take it for granite that the army would keep me safe, that meant that I firmly believed that they would. I'm surprised I survived to my tenth birthday.

Tiajuana - I also spent months trying to find Tiajuana on a map of Mexico. I thought it was odd that there was a place with a similar name, Tijuana, which was also right on the border.

There are probably many more that I could add to the list but I don't feel like it. If there are any mispronunciations that drive you nuts add them in the comments.