Rnodam Ttohguhs

Do crazy people know they're crazy?

This question came up while chatting with Annie last night. I've found that any conversation taking place after 11pm is automatically really deep or really silly, or a combination of the two. This was a silly question that was brought up from a serious discussion, and, after its initial silliness, I started to consider it more in depth and it changed from silly to deep.

The discussion that spawned this question was about one of my biggest fears, which is: what if I'm really not as intelligent as I think I am, and I'm too stupid to realize that I don't actually know anything?

It's like with little kids. They don't understand the sarcasm in your voice like a normal adult would, and assume that everything you say to them is serious. Seeing kids respond to adult conversation I've started going back through my childhood memories trying to pick out all those things that people told me that I just didn't understand.

Like when I made a "guitar" out of an old pencil box without a lid and a number of rubber bands. My parents said they liked the music I was playing. I doubt that now, but I was pretty proud of myself then for creating a new, aurally-pleasing musical instrument.

I don't blame anyone for humoring me when I was that age. The more I see people interact with their kids the more I realize it's a necessity. But it lends support to my argument that maybe I'm too stupid to know I'm not smart, or too crazy to realize I'm crazy.

So the question becomes: How can I know that I'm intelligent?

You'd say, "Well, you can know if you're intelligent if people tell you you're intelligent." And I'd say, "Yeah, but if I'm not smart enough to detect sarcasm or deceit, then how can I really trust what anyone says? Maybe they're humoring me the way I would humor a child." We both make pretty good arguments, and because I'm me, I'm going to side with myself and say that external input isn't reliable.

You'd probably counter with the argument, "You could examine your own thoughts and compare them with your own standard of intelligence." You'd probably word it differently, but however you word it, I'd respond like this: "What if my own standard of intelligence is limited, but I'm not smart enough to see the limits? Over 90% of people (I just made that up, but I wouldn't admit that in a debate) believe that they are of above average intelligence. Sorry to tell you, people, but 30% of you are wrong. What if I'm nearing the limits of my intellectual capacity? If I've learned 90% of everything I'll ever be capable of learning, I'd consider myself pretty smart. but, conversely, if I had a much higher capacity for learning, and had only learned 20% of what I could, I'd feel really stupid."

Again, point for me.

You'd then come up with a good question: "What about standardized tests? Aren't they good indicators of intelligence?"

"You make a good point," I'd say, "but whose standard are they testing? I could write a test that caters to my strengths and call it a 'standard'. Anyone taking the test would then have to conform to my way of thinking to score well on the test. Isn't that how all standardized tests are? And, really, who's writing these tests? If the people writing the tests aren't smarter than me, then how can they really test my intelligence?"

At that point you'd throw your hands in the air and say, "You're just crazy." At least that's what Annie did last night, and I don't blame her. I'm exasperating (this word reminds me of "Sasparilla" and makes me thirsty) enough in small doses. I can't imagine having to deal with me on a daily basis.

But, that leads me to my next topic, which is really the first topic (but it got hijacked by the rest of the conversation. Actually, it was just easier to find pictures of crazy people than it was to find pictures of stupid people. Well, I have a lot of pictures of stupid people, but I'd hate to post their pictures here, just in case they still believe they're in the 90%).

How would you possibly know if you're crazy?

I mean, if you're a werewolf you at least have some pretty good clues that you're changing form every full moon: dirt under your fingernails, scratch marks all over your house even though you don't own a pet, an irrestistible hankering for dog food, and having to shave 3 times a day.

But, for being crazy, there are no real symptoms. Well, there are plenty of symptoms, but it seems to me that, if you're acting a certain way, you're acting that way because it seems normal to you, so, by default, nothing you do would seem strange.

I guess you have to rely on people you trust to let you know if you're crazy or not. But that comes with its own set of problems: How do you know that people are actually trustworthy? What if it's in their own best interest to convince you you're crazy, or have you institutionalized (that's a fun word). I would imagine that if you're crazy, you're not really competent to make that kind of a determination.

So, I guess all you can really do is move forward through life hoping not to get locked up in an insane asylum. Although, maybe if you really were crazy, you'd have a lot more fun there than out in the real world. Sometimes I think I would.
Of course, you could go your whole life as mad as a hatter without ever being institutionalized.

Oh, if you're wondering about the title, there's research (some guy with too much time on his hands) that shows that the human brain can figure out what a word is if the first and last letters are correct and all the other letters are in there somewhere. It's actually pretty amazing how well your mind can pick up on things like that. Maybe my next post will all be written that way...