Size Matters

The two-year anniversary of my bus riding is coming up next month and it's made me reflect a bit on the whole transit system.

First of all, I have to say that it has been great riding the bus; it saves us about $200 a month just in gas, not to mention the wear and tear on the Jeep; it usually gets me to work on time; and it only takes an extra six hours out of my life each week that I can never get back.

For those of you who ride the bus, have you noticed an increase in ridership in the last few months? I sure have. Last year with the gas price increases there wasn't the leap that there has been this year. At the park-and-ride where I catch the bus there used to be 3-4 of us waiting for the bus; now some days there are a dozen or more.

The thing with bus riders, though, is they're very peculiar. Even more so than most people. I think for most people the commute to work is part of their daily routine (we all have a daily routine--all those things that you do so often that you don't have to be conscious for them--like showering, getting dressed, etc.); and if anything gets in the way of that routine, or alters it in any way, it really messes with your head and throws the whole day off. For most people, the commute is something that's done alone, in a car, with your own music, and your own temperature controls, and nobody sitting on your lap. But that's not the case for bus riders...

It's funny to watch people on the bus; they each have their own quirks. Everyone has their favorite seat, and some people get as bent out of shape if someone takes it as they do at church when someone sits on their bench. Everyone does their own thing: some read, some sleep, some listen to music, some stare at people, mumble curse words, and spit randomly. The one thing that nobody likes (except one lady that gets on at my same stop) is to sit next to someone.

Every seat on the bus will fill up before any person sits next to any other person. I've seen people sit on the steps to the door rather than sit on a seat with someone else. There are, of course, some people who take up two seats by themselves (I'm not being mean--at least not really mean--the seats are pretty small). These people, if they're the first to sit in the seat, will usually not have anyone asking to sit next to them (people will instead wrap their arms up in the handles and hang like bats if the seats are all full). If all the seats are full, and they have to sit with someone, they don't ask, they don't hesitate; they just sit down, covering whoever was already sitting there (this is why I carry a snorkel in my backpack when gas prices are high).

And, of course, the "first-sitters" (the people who sit in the seat first) try various techniques to discourage people from sitting by them, trying to hold out to be the last person to have someone sitting next to them. You know the tricks: put your backpack/purse on the seat next to you (as though it were a person); sit on the aisle-side seat so they think that you're either saving the seat or there's a midget (can I still use that word?) sitting next to you; pretend to be asleep so the timid people won't dare ask you if they can sit there; pretend to have a conversation with various imaginary people around you; or, my favorite, fake a mild seizure while you spew expletives and spit randomly (this is the most effective).

So, that brings me to the point of my post. Typically we get a nice long "articulated" bus on my route, both morning and evening. It used to be that each person on the bus could have their own seat and there were some left over. Not anymore. Now, even with the long buses every seat is filled with two people (or one if the above scenario applies).

So, here's the question: why on Earth would UTA send a SHORT bus on that route? We completely fill up a LONG bus. Completely! There are people standing! I know they're counting methods have come under fire recently, but it was for over-estimating the ridership.

Anyway, I don't mean to complain. I still ride the bus, even if it does throw off my whole morning (sitting next to someone on the bus is a lot like realizing you don't have a towel in the bathroom as you're exiting the shower, reaching out blindly for it). It just shocks you into consciousness a bit before you're ready.

I'm sure the bus ridership will eventually go back down as people start realizing that there are real weirdos on the bus. Until then I have two options: get big enough to take up a whole seat myself, or faking seizures, mumbling expletives, and spitting randomly.